Possessed by My Characters
Faithless has been different. I will make huge headway over a period of 4-5 days, and then burn the hell out. One reason is that Faithless is like the length of the first 5 books in the M&M series. It took me a while to figure out that was some of it. I HAD written the length of a first draft, just not the length of Faithless’ first draft.
This time around, I’ve dicked off. I’ve worked on Wicked Reads stuff. Played around on the websites. All in the name of saying I’m doing something productive in my career. I don’t believe in play until I finish one book and haven’t started another. But I seem to forget that in the first four months of 2013 I’ve published Good Girl, written Widow, written KING, and written part one of Faithless, hell, I even started The Hunter. So in retrospect, I shouldn’t feel guilty for the hundreds of hours spent playing the Sims 3 and for reading like 50 books in the past six weeks.
And I called this pretend to work while trying to relax time: Writer’s Block.
I’ve been a moody bitch, biting and snapping and feeling unhinged- MANIC. Everything is rubbing on my last nerve. It’s not like I’m crying or anything. Frankly, I feel like I could hurt something.
Two reasons for my Faithless difficulty:
I have no idea how long this book will be. A conservative guesstimate is 1000+ pages. I have well over 100 chapters outlined and I already have 34 written. So yeah, that 134 chapters in a book. We are talking at least 10 pages per chapter. So these writing tangents where I feel like I didn’t get a lot of progress. I did. It’s just so long that you don’t see it. Like a sprint vs a marathon. It’s demotivational.
My past characters haven’t been sunshine and rainbows or anything. Dalton is Emo for heaven’s sake. Whitt was a breath of fresh air. Angsty Willow was snarkilicous to write. Easy-peasy, so fresh and breezy. SYN… *groan* that girl takes a lot out of me, and I am just getting to the part where she thinks she might be a sadist. It’s only going to get worse from here on out.
As I write, I develop my character. I have to become one with the character to accurately write them. I know them inside and out. When I first started writing, I didn’t get as absorbed, and I’m sure the reader can notice this. I’m not as invested in Kat, or even Dexter. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I just don’t know them. By the time Queen was written, I pretty much was taken over by Regina. And it’s obvious. Regina is a strong woman, but loving and kind.
SYN- I’ve been Possessed by SYN.
That is an atrocious place to be. You’ve read about our Petite Sadist. You’ve witnessed her grunts and sneers and snarls. After a day or five of being inside Syn’s head, I have to call it quits. Seriously, she is making me manic. She is sweet and loving and broken. She is snide and nasty and deadly. She is fierce and loyal. Syn takes no prisoners.
Syn has affected how I deal with outside forces. I am very tactful and pleasant. I can look you in the eye and smile while I think the sarcastic remarks that will never leave my lips. But Syn. Syn makes me say those remarks. Syn makes me post statuses and comments and blog posts. She isn’t satisfied if she feels disrespected. She is disciplined and she demands a lot of me.
Syn & I have came up with an agreement. We will push out those chapters a few days at a clip, and then Erica gets 24-48 hours to remember she is Erica.