The irony of this image from my newsletter is NOT an error. It is to express why the M&M of Restraint series had to be unpublished, rewritten from scratch, and re-published. 

The double irony is for the posts held within the newsletter, primarily with the one titled: Edit. Edit. Edit. 

As the 'about' page of this website explains, I have a bit of a dark, sardonic sense of humor, and after I sent the newsletter, I feared people who didn't 'get' me, may think I'm a simpleton. Trust me, it was on purpose.  Artistic frustration. 

Erica Chilson has written, rewritten, and rewritten Restraint some more, until it no longer resembles its original edition. 

In an earlier posting, she listed the chapter amount and word-count difference. In tonight's post, she's sharing the errors found AFTER the beta copy of Restraint. The beta copy is the final draft, already been read and edited dozens of times. After the author received the Betas' findings, she fixed those, and then she loaded Restraint on her Paperwhite for another read-through for the final ebook edition. The next to the last read-through. 

Erica Chilson will have to read Restraint one more time when she does copy-edits on the Print Proof, where whatever is found will also be fixed on the ebook edition. Just one more read-through... le sigh.


Erica Chilson has grown exponentially in her craft, and this is the main reason she had to take the M&M of Restraint series off-sale and rewrite it in its entirely... and this is why.


As proof of what was found in the Beta Copy of Restraint, here is a list of all errors spotted, from both the betas and the author herself. 

*Intuned x 3. (I swear to God, I fixed that, but managed to use another doc to copy and paste right over it. Smdh) <Jacki, Linsey, Liz, Sandy>

*Threatening (Threatened)* <Jacki, Alexis, Alicia, Liz, Diane, Shelby>

*Supportive bra is remove(d) <Jacki, Liz, Sandy>

*Aaron rip(s) <Jacki, Alicia, DI, Liz, Sandy>

*Gun(remove *-*)metal <Alexis>

*f(l)ight-or-flight <Alexis>

*Reevaluating/re-evaluating* I have no idea if this is correct or not, as I get conflicting responses on Google, says both are correct. Shrugs <Alexis> Any guesses which is correct?? Anyone??

*PWNT* (Snickers) <Alexis, DI, Liz, Sandy>

*Forcing me wraps (forcing me to wrap) <Alexis, Alicia>

*Gone/Went* (Kick my ass. LMAO. I suck) <Alexis, Liz, Diane>

*I actually feed (feel) pretty dang good. <Alexis, Alicia, DI, Diane, Darcy, Sandy>

*Disclaimer not including the word rape* (That is a no-no on Amazon. Great way to get blocked. Dubious consent was used in its place. <Alicia>

*Alecia* (Alicia. I also made it Alicia P (unless you would like it to remain B?) <Alicia>

*Tessie* (Tassie- apparently I was drunk that day. LMAO. Two misspelled beta names. smdh) <Tassie>

*F(f)riendship* <Alicia, Linsey, Jonelle>

*Human(remove space)Kind* <Alicia>

*I reminds(remind) us* <Alicia, Darcy>

*I think (thank) the heavens above* <Alicia>

*There are monster(s)* <Alicia, Liz, Diane, Jonelle, Shelby>

*floor to sit(s) next to Monica* <Alicia>

*I've never see(n)* <Alicia>

*I(t) has nothing* <Alicia, Liz, Diane, Darcy>

*It will always (be) your decision* <Alicia, DI>

*toe(s) curl* <Alicia>

*to(at) home (Hillybilly me says to home, not at) <Alicia>

*He sound(s) content* <Alicia>

*lend me strength(.)* <Alicia>

*This is why I stopping (stopped) feeling* <Alicia, Darcy>

*To trigger(remove s)* <Alicia>

*fragment* <Alicia>

*plural/singular hand/palm* <Alicia>

*I would have feel(felt)* <Alicia>

*only touch woman(women)* <Alicia>

*seductive growl(s)* <Alicia>

*burier X 2 (barrier)* <Alicia, Linsey, Liz, Diane, Sandy>

*I(It) will be like...* <Alicia, Liz>

*in in (flow disruption. While correct, I rewrote sentence* (right alongside the adult decision of what my college major would be) <DI, Jonelle>

*what she says next stop(s) my heart* <DI, Darcy>

*another instance of 'to' versus 'at' home times two* <DI>

*Tuesday(s) afternoon...* <DI, Liz, Shelby>

*play around on (with)* <DI>

*rent (too much his-ro coming out of me* <DI, Alicia>

*bringing you (your) friends X 3* <DI>

*clearer-headed (more clear-headed) <DI>

*when he speaks (to) his son* <DI>

*Awkward sentence about Alec* <Tassie>

*which (who)* <Linsey>

*Welcome to (the) Restraint* <Linsey>

*Restraint membership, reworded to remove brackets* <Linsey>

*as sex (awkward. Missing a word earlier in the sentence)* <Linsey>

*effecting (affecting)* <Linsey>

*always (replace with almost)* <Linsey>

*subtly (subtlety)* <Linsey, Sandy>

*(A) Spork* <Linsey, Liz, Darcy>

*chose (choose)* <Linsey>

*chose (chosen)* <Linsey, Liz>

*never imaged (imagined)* <Linsey>

*hope (wish) them the best* <Linsey>

*(a) baser level* <Linsey>

*redundant 'outside'* <Liz, Sandy>

*too (to) keep* <Liz, Diane>

*bare (bear)* <Liz, Diane>

*redundant myself* <Liz>

*anymore (any more)* <Liz>

*Intoxication (intoxicating)* <Liz, Sandy>

*messages (messaged) me* <Liz, Diane, Darcy>

*in (a) just a* <Liz>

*exactly as he says (said) X 2* <Liz>

*just came (come)* <Liz>

*awkward sentence* <Liz>

*anyone (someone)* <Diane>

* punctuation x 12* <Diane>

*Traveling (to)* <Diane>

*weight (weigh) more than* <DIane, Sandy>

*accidently (accidentally) x 3* <DIane, Sandy>

*shaper (sharper)* <Diane>

*it *them)* <Diane>

*comma and (instead I added a comma and a yet) <Diane>

*(H)is very presence* <Diane>

*bark of laugh(t)er* <Diane>

*missing is* <Diane>

*missing to* <Diane>

*Jipped (Gypped) X 2* <Liz, Diane>

*un(in)escapable X 3* <Diane, Sandy>

*Utter (Udder) (I'm LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD I'M CRYING!!!!!!!!) <Diane>

*(a)waking hours* <Diane, Sandy>

*by (be) lying* <Diane>

*chauffe(u)r X2* <Diane, Sandy>

*(h)ears* <Diane, Sandy>

*I yank you (her) closer* <Diane, Darcy, Shelby>

*(a)way* <Diane, Sandy>

*Pussycat* <DIane, Sandy>

*dam(n) breaks* <Diane, Sandy>

*Next (time) we meet* <Diane, Darcy>

*(pro)perspective* <Diane, Jonelle, Sandy>

*high(-)handed X 2* <Diane>

*u(p)tmost* <Diane>

*on (an) average* <Diane>

*then (than) X 2* <Diane>

*package(d) deal* <Diane>

*Dexter get(s)* <Diane, Darcy>

*O(f)f* <Diane, Sandy>

*w(h)ere* <Diane>

*Em(im)bedded X 3* <Diane, Sandy>

*carabiner* <Diane>

*in reverse than (then)* <Diane>

*threated (threatened)* <Diane, Sandy>

*un(in)surmountable* <Diane>

*Around & round* <Jonelle>

*murder(ers)* <Jonelle>

*tend(s)* <Darcy>

*awkward sentence* <Darcy>

*remove and* <Darcy>

*that (than)* <Darcy>

*cock(ed)* Darcy>

* tights (thighs)* <Jonelle,Darcy> (That was a horrific error. Damnit! I feel like a moron)

*belong (to)* <Jonelle>

*more redundant 'myself'* <Jonelle>

*then(than)* <Jonelle, Sandy>

*payback(')s a bitch* <Jonelle>

*hammer(ing)* <Darcy>

*repetitive use of force in a paragraph* <Darcy>

*Aaron mumble(s) <Darcy>

*hold(s)* <Darcy>

*conversation(s)* <Darcy>

*remove as* <Shelby>

*Three of them w(h)ere very young* <Shelby>

*Fairytale versus Fairy tale. I googled it and found both on different dictionary sites. No clue which is correct.* <Sandy>

*day(space)trips* <Sandy>

*Sandy suffers from a condition which gives her a great loathing of the hyphen. Forever when I use a hyphen, I will think of her.  & determine if it's necessary* <Sandy>

*You instead of ya* <Sandy>

*NIN should be typed out* <Sandy>

*awkward sentence* <Sandy>

*as-is (I found both on a search, but for Sandy's sanity, I removed the hyphen)* <Sandy>

*Jenna Jam(e)son* <Sandy>

*trustworthy* <Sandy>

*Intrigu(es)* <Sandy>

*re(-)enters* <Sandy> (The irony is not lost on me how Sandy wanted me to use a hyphen)

*Quacking (quaking)* <Sandy>

*beached (beach)* <Sandy>

*Tipoff(don't kill me. tip-off is correct)* <Sandy>

*Me (my) heart & soul (I'm channeling my ancestors. Kris usually spots my "ME")* <Sandy>

*Not an error. But I will explain right here. Ironic that Ava chose Hillbrook on her own, without knowing it was where her father attended. Fated* <Sandy>

*bit(e)able neck* <Sandy>

*Note to Sandy: the reason Roman Alexander & Dalton & Daniel Whittenhower II have plaques on the doors is because they were already Masters of Restraint by the time Kat comes there. Kat is the newest member, even as of Integrated. Aaron eventually becomes a Master. Queen is training him and Roman during Checkmate for Marcus(happened around the same time as Kat)

*good(remove space) bye* <Sandy>

0% - 20% 

Error: (remove possessive) Master Ez’s had on me clears with his absence. 
Error: Upper-arm (remove hyphen) *every hyphen had Sandy's beautiful face on my mind  *
Error: possessive on a proper noun (Boss's) (remove the s) 
Error: wrong place and (at) the right time. 
Error: Dexter's deep voice (the sadist's) *Dexter's name hadn't been given yet* Uh-oh! 
Error: child size (child-size)
Error: I feel like (a) part in a game
Error: its charm (is) another crown. 
Error: flashes of moist pink (is) an... 
Error: fear that (the) reality... 
Error: for many reason: (reasons) 
Error: 21 punctuation errors 


21% - 37% 

Error: I never want to hear those words (uttered) from your mouth
Error: 27 punctuation
Error: 41 word replacements
Error: (about) how one-sided...
Error: I need (to have) answered
Error: to (take a) shower
Error: 3 capitalization. 
Error: or (the) brush of my mouth
Error: like (a) predator
Error: (with) an inborn instinct
Error: every time we meet (we've met) 
Error: redundant myself
Error: 5 missing (I) when dealing with then (then I) 
Error: time (for) you (to) get properly acquainted
Error:9 missing ANDs
Error: and (for) no other reason
Error: told (to do), like a good girl
Error: to (too) depend (dependent) 
Error: (Enter to unbury dialogue) 
Error: rearview (mirror) 
Error: after (when) ... settles (settled) I (I've)
Error: But I'm sure there might (must) be sweetheart sociopaths. 
Error: (in the) opposite direction of me
Error: he sound (sounds) content
Error: feel (feeling) as if more is going (on) around me
Error: preventing (preventative) measure
Error: and release (by releasing) 
Error: my own (ONLY) barrier
Error: loses (his) patience with me
Error: with (remove THE) brutal force. 
Error: his face (comma) like (the one) he wore... 
Error: stalker in your (my) room
Error: but my heart (is) beating (so) loudly in my ears, (it) removes..



37% - 61% 

Error: 19 punctuation errors
Error: 7 'enter' to make new paragraphs to unbury dialogue
Error: 5 italicize specific words
Error: this (firsthand), but I've taken care... 
Error: 11 words turned into contractions 
Error: 3 deleted 'that'
Error: 14 word replacements
Error: 8 pronouns replaced with proper nouns
Error: 4 hyphen removals (Sandy) 
Error: 2 hyphens added
Error: days (when) I want to act like a skank, skank panties do not manifest in my dresser (drawers)
Error: further than (from) the truth
Error: paying (close) attention
Error: trashy, skany (skanky) pose
Error: 4 word order (word moved in the sentence) 
Error: fiance (fiancee) 
Error: 2 (cum) changed to come. (Cum as the noun is valid. Cum as the verb is not) Despite my heritage, if it's ME cum, it's wrong. If it's MY cum, it's correct. 'me come' 'my cum'
Error: wouldn't need two(,) or (else) he.. 
Error: 2 'tense' errors
Error: 6 reworded awkward sentences
Error: sleep if (IT) off
Error: (as) an added bonus
Error: (Supportive hand disappearing), Master Ez just walks away
Error: 3 singular to plural
Error: 6 remove unnecessary, redundant pronouns
Error: is in (within) arm's reach
Error: 4 'and' replaced with 'to' (instead of a chain of events, it's denoting an action- verb)
Error: (to) accidentally moving (move) the pieces
Error: pull his fingers from my hair (pull my hair from his fingers) 
Error: removed 2 more gunmetal eye descriptors for Darcy.
Error: pursuing (perusing) 
Error: persecute (prosecute) 
Error: it's (is) proof-positive
Error: asked (me) to have sex



61% - 78%

Change: He's very (highly in place of very) skilled and controlled
Error: (by) being born in a small town
Error: 17 word replacements
Error: 28 punctuation errors
Error: 9 restructured sentences
Error: 11 word placement (move a singular word in a sentence to another part of the sentence)
Error: 3 word replacement (redundant use/click the thesaurus) 
Error: 6 'enter' to break up paragraphs and to unbury dialogue
Error: (the) both of us *3 instances of this* 
Error: 7 pronouns changed to proper nouns
Error: 11 contractions created
Error: 2 compound words (I feel like I'm writing the 12 days of English Grammar... ♫ 1 brain dead author ♫ )
Error: 4 tense errors (... and a partridge in a pear tree ♫ )
Error: 6 removed hyphens ( ♫ because I love Sandy ♫ ) 
Error: kept (to) his word
Error: 3 singular/plural
Error: The masters earned their own room(s)
Error: a door in the back corner of the comfort side (,) beckons (remove to) me (add forward)
Error: 4 italicized words
Error: my eyes slips (slip) shut
Error: we don't have to (do a) scene or anything
Error: and (the) others
Error: palms smooths (smooth)
Error: the wood (woods) on a rampage
Error: his hand (hands) trying
Error: I shouldn't be (left) alone
Error: My eye (eyes) are glazed
Error: SHIT (we all missed this time and time again. I found it while reworking a sentence) SHIRT. It's a mofo SHIRT!
Error: appeared (to be) 
Error: A (remove a) disappointment 
Error: I thought (being) gay meant
Error: why are you (being) so mean to me? 
Error: one (who's) playing a game with you
Error: with (the) direction the conversation is going
Error: saw (him) on the street
Error: 4 remove that



78% - 100% 

Error: failure to NOT indent on the first paragraph of a new chapter
Error: 17 'enter' to break up paragraphs and unbury dialogue
Error: (out of) from (remove from) my mind
Error: we comes (come) to rest 
Error: 7 word replacements
Error: 21 pronouns replaced with proper nouns
Error: (to) in (remove in) the chest
Error: 9 delete unnecessary words
Error: 14 word order (rearranged the sentence) 
Error: 11 change the tense
Error: 23 punctuation 
Error: 2 remove unnecessary profanity
Error: 5 uses of the wrong pronouns
Error: 3 awkward sentences restructured
Error: 6 contractions
Error: please bring (in) our misbehaving... 
Error: toes (tips) of his shoes
Error: or it needs (to) not be at all
Error: 2 italicized words
Error: 4 uppercase/lowercase
Error: Cort warms (warNs) 
Error: the bird (birdS) and the bees
Error: 4 'that' removed
Error: thoughts has (have) centered

Erica Chilson is going from a blog-based site to an actual website. The author's blog, Erica Chilson: The Wicked Writer, will still be maintained but not used. She will continue to blog, but in this new location. (if time allows, Erica will import a few select posts to this site)

If you wish to read any of the blog postings from the past three years, please click the button below. 

There are times when you have to take a step back and look at yourself: your self-image, your mental abilities, your confidence.

Self-evaluation.

In the world of selfies, where people post images with captions, “I look like hell,” but post them anyway, it makes you take a closer look at self-evaluation. If you really thought you looked like crap, you wouldn’t post them. Obviously the poster likes the way they look, and then I wonder if they have a higher opinion of themselves than they should.

Wow, Erica! What a horrible thing to say!!!

Bear with me, here. I’ll get to my point shortly.

Anyone who has paid attention to my postings in the past month or so, knows I’m rewriting my Mistress & Master of Restraint Series- FROM SCRATCH. What a humbling, crippling experience. So I will explain my self-evaluation and a false sense of confidence comment.

Erica has taken a step back and did some major self-evaluation these past few months. In the now, you feel great about yourself: I look good. I feel good. I’m smart. This book is fabulous. Right? Isn’t that how you feel when you look into the mirror of yourself?

A few years ago, I was a bigger girl, and I felt confident about myself. I thought I looked good. (Now, don’t go tar and feathering me, as if I’m saying my size was a reflection of me as a human being. That is NOT where I’m headed with this blog post. I’m long-winded, I’ll get to the point eventually.) Anyway, I was a size 18/20 and quickly gaining ground on the next size up. At the time, I was working on changing my life, all aspects. So I lost weight, dropping down to a 10/12. Yay for me, right? Not really. Because there is fallout from that as well. You start to feel shitty about who you used to be because you still feel like shit now. When I look at pictures of myself- new pictures- I think I look bad. So then I start to question my own sanity. I thought I looked good in images from several years ago, several sizes larger, yet now I feel like crap when I look at myself. Was I thinking clearly back then, then?

My entire life I’ve thought myself as intelligent: quick to learn knowledge that I easily retained. Smarty pants. Know-it-all. With the mistakes I’ve made in the past, where I objectively look at my actions and reactions to the stimulation around me, at the time I felt I was making the proper decisions. Now I think I was a flippin’ idiot.

A stupid, stupid girl.

Stupid girl.

Stupid.

With the M&M rewrite has came a LOT of fallout, especially to my confidence in all things. In order to grow in my craft and as a person, I had to admit defeat. I had to recognize my faults. I had to take the bitter consequences of my actions. I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, “You suck. You f*cking suck, Erica!” Then, and only then, could I move on.

This new humbled, self-effacing person is now indecisive- demoralized. With my confidence destroyed, laying amongst the deleted words of my manuscripts, my world view has shifted.

The Erica from the past thought herself smart, average looking, and confident in her abilities to do her job. The Erica from the present disputes those claims as she cleans up the messes from the past Erica. The Erica from the future is shaking her head, clearly disappointed, and she’s shouting, “Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t make me redo your work because you’re an idiot. Don’t make me stand in front of the mirror and say, ‘I suck. I f*ckin’ suck!’ Don’t make me clean up your messes because you had a bloated self-image!” 

Yes, future Erica is a bit pessimistic and bitter, while past Erica was naive, and present Erica is just… resolved.

Where does this leave me, present Erica?

Rolling along, doubting myself, because the past predicts the future. The Restraint I’m writing today (from scratch) will be a Restraint I’m proud of today. But I fear that future Erica will be embarrassed by it, and will want to go back in time and kick my behind. Just as present Erica longs to do to past Erica.

As I go back to Restraint, where I’ve deleted 3 out of every 4 words and replaced them with new, I know I can only do what I am capable of as of today. Tomorrow I may be better. But when it’s all said and done, Restraint will be a reflection of who I am today, and future Erica will have a different reflection of herself within a new book. But for the past Erica’s honor and reputation, present Erica and future Erica have joined forces, refusing to allow their naive, younger self to be demoralized and humiliated.

I’m sure I will doubt myself next week, next year, a lifetime from now. But that shows the ability to recognize my faults and grow. If I truly had a bloated self-image, I’d destroy myself with my narrow view. The only thing I have in common with future Erica, at this time, is the fact that my world view is 360 degrees.